The abbreviation BDSM refers to the words bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism. This sadomasochistic sexual practice involves many diverse activities, including bondage, humiliation and other exciting pastimes. A huge number of people can find pleasure in this practice if they grasp it correctly and recognize what role is most appropriate for it. If you’re just starting out with BDSM and want to fuck yourself to pleasure, it’s important to know the basic rules.
1) Don’t keep quiet
Before you embark on BDSM practices, you need to talk openly about it with the partner you want to try it with. Discuss what you expect from it, where your boundaries and limits are, whether you feel more comfortable in the role of a dominant or a submissive pet. Everything must be done with the consent of the other player. Under no circumstances should you try it without talking first, unless you want to end up in the emergency room with a choked partner or in the police station for rape or worse.
2) Safety is key
As BDSM is full of practices that can cause health complications if performed incorrectly, safety and protection need to be kept in mind. One of the basic rules is the use of safety words. The most common colours are red (stop the activity immediately), orange (slow down / ease up / explain the act), green (everything is fine). Of course you can specify any other colours, feel free to shout at each other in the heat of passion, for example, species of birds. The actors must know these words and say them to each other before playing and check that they both understand the meaning. Therefore, don’t try to include a gag right at the beginning, you probably understand that any word shouted over it will be rather silly. Leave it until you are experienced in BDSM and know each other’s boundaries. But if you insist on it, you can also use hand signing for example.
3) Don’t rush anywhere
If you’re just starting out with BDSM, start slowly, with simple activities such as just gentle pain in the form of ice on a hot body, handcuffing only, light stroking with a whip. Build up the intensity gradually and slowly learn your limits.
4) Control your emotions
BDSM practices can be somewhat emotionally demanding and it is important to remember that they can evoke different feelings in both participants. Therefore, you need to be able to distinguish between physical and emotional pain and learn to manage your emotions so that you don’t literally beat your partner in the heat of passion, for example.
5) Limits must be respected
Any harder play should only be done with the consent of the actors and in accordance with the limits. Each person has different boundaries and no go zones that MUST be respected in BDSM. No one should force you out of your comfort zone if you don’t feel up to it. Always talk to your partner about everything so there is no misunderstanding.
6) Invest in the right tools
This point is also related to safety. Although BDSM aids are not the cheapest, it is definitely worth investing in them. Sure, you can buy that rope over there at the hobby market, but you’ll feel the chafed skin for a long time afterwards. For BDSM practitioners, everything is made to be as safe and comfortable as possible. There is a huge range of whips, ropes, dildos and other toys on the market, differentiated by experience as well. Better leave the cucumber in the fridge for the salad.
7) Learn from others
You don’t have to participate in a BDSM orgy right away, but it doesn’t hurt to read up on BDSM or watch the various videos on our site for a lot of inspiration. There are also online communities, various local groups, etc. where you can talk to people who have been practicing BDSM for many years and get advice.
8) Don’t be afraid to experiment
Many people see BDSM as a controversial topic, but it’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with two people agreeing to do an activity together that is exciting for both of them and can satisfy them like nothing else.
Overall, BDSM can be very exciting and satisfying, but it is also a demanding and emotionally difficult practice. If you are a beginner, take it slow, talk to your partner and follow our advice.